Pizza Ranch

Basic Information:

Pizza: Pizza Ranch

Number of Locations: around 200 across 14 states; based in Iowa

Location Reviewed: 305 E. Main St. in Mandan, ND

Website: https://pizzaranch.com/

Date of Review Visit: August 2018

What I Ordered: 1 adult buffet, drink included

Price: $12.34 (includes drink and tax)

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Summary Review: 3.5 stars (out of 5)

Detailed Review:

Crust: The different pizzas available on Pizza Ranch’s buffet have different crusts.  The thin crusts such as the crust on the double pepperoni pizza are nice and crispy.  The “usual” crust pizzas are bulky and flavorless.  The sausage pizza even has a Pizza Hut-style stuffed crust.  Overall, I found more to like than to not like among the crusts.  Score: 6/10.

Sauce: Most of the buffet pizza options have little sauce, and what sauce there is has little flavor.  The barbecue beef pizza has a nice barbecue-based sauce that reminded me of Cici’s old barbecue pizza that I really liked.  One good sauce is not enough to earn a good score on this metric, though.  Score: 4/10.

Cheese: Again, the pizzas do not have much cheese, and what cheese exists does not have much flavor.  At least there is not much grease either.  Score: 4/10.

Toppings: The toppings are mostly very tasty, especially the double pepperoni.  The toppings appear in plenty of quantity for the most part.  Score: 9/10.

Overall Taste: You usually sacrifice quality for quantity at a pizza buffet, but that sacrifice is fairly small here.  Most of the pizzas have enough distinctive flavors to make the taste pretty good overall.  Score: 7.5/10.

Pizza Appearance: The pizza buffet is well-labeled and neatly arranged.

Dining Atmosphere: The dining room has a western theme with witty sayings such as “the Lord is my saddle partner.”

Customer Service: The service was quick and attentive once I made it to the front of the line.

Monetary Value: Pizza Ranch is more expensive than Cici’s, but you also get more.  They even have some non-pizza items such as fried chicken on the buffet.

The Final Judgment:

Pizza Ranch is very popular.  I tried coming here twice: the first time I could not even find a parking spot and left.  The second time I had to wait about 10 minutes to be seated.  Pizza Ranch is like a Cici’s for grown-ups with a western twist, and I think its popularity is well-earned.  It gets a big “yee-haw” in my book.  Score: 77/100.

Jammer Joe’s Grill and Pizzeria (Xanterra Travel Collection)

Basic Information:

Pizza: Jammer Joe’s Grill and Pizzeria

Number of Locations: 1; Operated by Xanterra Travel Collection

Location: Lake McDonald, Glacier National Park

Website: https://www.glaciernationalparklodges.com/dining/lake-mcdonald-lodge/jammer-joes-grill-pizzeria/

Date of Review Visit: August 2018

What I Ordered: personal (10”) pizza with pepperoni and sausage; Coke to drink

Price: $13.66 (includes drink and tax but not tip)

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Summary Review: 1 star (out of 5)

Detailed Review:

Crust: The crust at Jammer Joe’s is hard to classify, but I would classify it as a butter crust.  Nevertheless, it has only a slight butter taste.  The crust has medium thickness, but it is very hard, so hard I had a difficult time cutting it with a knife.  Score: 4/10.

Sauce: This pizza does not have much sauce, and what sauce there is mixes with grease to form an orange ooze.  Score: 2/10.

Cheese: The cheese produces a lot of grease, and it appears in only average quantity.  Even sprinkling on some parmesan cheese helps the flavor only a little.  Score: 4/10.

Toppings: Neither topping has much flavor, but both toppings appear in good quantity.   Score: 5/10.

Overall Taste: I remember eating some frozen butter crust pizza a few years ago that tasted suspiciously like this pizza.  I can’t remember the brand of the frozen pizza, but the “frozen” in that statement is what you really need to know about the taste.  Score: 4/10.

Pizza Appearance: As usual with a butter crust pizza, this pizza has a crust-dominated appearance.  The slices are evenly cut.

Dining Atmosphere: The dining room needed some air conditioning on the hot summer afternoon that I came here, but otherwise it was pleasant.

Customer Service: The service was prompt and friendly.

Monetary Value: I was expecting the high national parks price, but I was hoping for the high national parks quality that never materialized.

The Final Judgment:

The national parks may be America’s best idea (although I tend to think of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness as America’s best ideas even if they are not exclusively American), but this pizza does not do our national parks a favor.  Maybe we could improve it by borrowing some ideas from Italy.  Score: 51/100.

Mesa Pizza in Minneapolis, MN

Basic Information:

Pizza: Mesa Pizza

Number of Locations: 3, 2 in Minnesota and 1 in Iowa)

Location Reviewed: 1323 4^th Street SE in Minneapolis, MN (in Dinkeytown)

Website: http://www.mesapizzamn.com/

Date of Review Visit: June 2018

What I Ordered: 2 slices of sausage and pepperoni pizza; can of Dr. Pepper to drink

Price: $9.25 (includes drink and tax)

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Summary Review: 2 stars (out of 5)

Detailed Review:

Crust: The crust at Mesa Pizza has a very hard texture; it is hard to bite and chew.  It tastes reheated, as is usual for pizza by the slice.  I’ve had worse crusts, but this crust does not do much for me.  Score: 3/10.

Sauce: This pizza has very little sauce, although what sauce does exist has a nice tomatoey flavor.  Score: 5/10.

Cheese: There is not much to say about the cheese’s flavor: even sprinkling on some parmesan helps only a little.  It does appear in decent quantity.  Score: 4/10.

Toppings: Mesa has a wide variety of ready-to-reheat pizza types to choose from.  On my pizza choice, the pepperoni is unremarkable and low in quantity.  The sausage is strange: it comes in big rectangular slices and tastes more like goetta (for those of you from Ohio who know what goetta is) than the Italian or pork sausage you normally find on a pizza.  I really didn’t recognize it as sausage at first.  The slices of sausage cover nearly the entire pizza, which I guess is a plus.  Score: 6/10.

Overall Taste: The overall taste is pretty nondescript; enough said.  Score: 5/10.

Pizza Appearance: The block-shaped sausage dominates the pizza’s appearance, and thus the appearance is most ususual.

Dining Atmosphere: The dining atmosphere is the typical crowded downtown atmosphere except that it was nearly empty at 12:30pm on a Wednesday.

Customer Service: The service was counter service and was fine.

Monetary Value: The price is low at 2 slices of pizza plus a drink for less than $10, but the quality is also below average.

The Final Judgment:

The Dinkeytown part of Minneapolis has a college town feel, and Mesa Pizza is a college town pizza.  While not the worst, it is definitely not the best.  Score: 61/100.

Punch Neapolitan Pizza in the Twin Cities, MN

Basic Information:

Pizza: Punch Neapolitan Pizza

Number of Locations: 12, all near the Twin Cities

Location Reviewed: 802 Washington Ave. SE in Minneapolis, MN (Update: this location is now closed, but 12 locations in the Twin Cities remain open)

Website: https://punchpizza.com/

Date of Review Visit: June 2018

What I Ordered: Napoli pizza with pepperoni and sausage; soda to drink

Price: $12.21 (includes drink and tax)

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Summary Review: 2.5 stars (out of 5)

The Macro:

Crust: The crust at Punch Neapolitan Pizza is not as thin as some other hot oven crusts.  It has a fresh bready taste for the most part, but I also tasted burnt crust quite a bit.  A little burning is expected for this type of pizza, but not this much.  Score: 6/10.

Sauce: This pizza has very little sauce, and what little sauce there is has very little flavor.  The following score might be charitable: Score: 2/10.

Cheese: The 100% mozzarella cheese appears in decent quantity and produces little grease but also little flavor.  You can add more cheeses as toppings (for a price, of course), but the standard cheese is rather bland.  Score: 5/10.

Toppings: The sausage is fresh and yummy with just the right amount of seasoning.  The pepperoni is fairly nondescript.  Both toppings appear in good quantity.  Score: 8/10.

Overall Taste: The blackened crust really overpowers pretty much everything else except sometimes the sausage.  This is a shame because there are some decent things going on here in the taste department.  Score: 7/10.

Pizza Appearance: The pizza’s appearance is nice and robust except for the blackened crust.

Dining Atmosphere: The dining area was crowded and noisy when I came here at noon on a Tuesday.  Two large overhead doors at the front of the restaurant open and give a nice indoor/outdoor atmosphere during the summer.

Customer Service: The counter service was prompt and friendly, but the lady calling order numbers had to yell incessantly over the noise.

Monetary Value: Punch only makes personal sized pizzas, so this is not the choice to feed a large group with large pizzas. Also, the price is higher than it should be for this quality of pizza.  On the bright side, the counter service saves on the tip.

The Final Judgment:

Punch is different enough that I can recommend coming here once to see if it suits your taste.  It does not suit mine, and in the Stadium Village area of Minneapolis I prefer nearby Blaze Pizza over Punch: they make similar pizza styles, but Blaze is the rare combination of cheaper and better.  Score: 66/100.

Blaze Pizza

Basic Information:

Pizza: Blaze Pizza

Number of Locations: many nationwide; based in Pasadena, CA

Location Reviewed: 1000 Washington Ave. SE in Minneapolis, MN (corner of Washington Ave. and Huron Blvd. near TCF Bank Stadium)

Website: https://www.blazepizza.com/

Date of Review Visit: June 2018

What I Ordered: Build Your Own 2 Topping pizza with pepperoni and smoked ham; soda to drink

Price: $10.80 (includes drink and tax)

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Summary Review: 4 stars (out of 5)

Detailed Review:

Crust: Blaze Pizza gets its name from its dome pizza oven that can reach up to 900 degrees Fahrenheit.  As you would expect for this style of pizza, the crust is thin and crispy.  It is hard to bake this style of pizza exactly right, but they did exactly that with mine.  Score: 10/10.

Sauce: You have your choice of sauce, but I chose classic red tomato-based sauce.  This pizza does not have a lot of sauce, and the sauce that does appear only has a very light tomato flavor.  Normally I complain about sauces being overspiced, but this sauce might be a little underspiced.  Score: 8/10.

Cheese: You get your choice of cheese, but I went with mostly mozzarella with a little parmesan. The cheese is applied with good quantity, but it produces quite a bit of grease and not a lot of flavor, even with the parmesan.  Score: 6/10.

Toppings: Their wide selection of toppings all look good because they have no artificial additives.  Both the smoked ham and pepperoni tasted fresh, but the pepperoni could have used a little more spice and the ham a little more sugar.  The smoked ham does not taste the least bit smoky.  Both toppings appear in good quantity.  Maybe I should have tried my usual pepperoni/sausage combination instead.  Score: 7/10.

Overall Taste: I sprinkled on some oregano to add some spice.  Otherwise, the overall taste would have been pleasant and fresh but rather bland.  Score: 8/10.

Pizza Appearance: The pizza has a well-ordered appearance with every piece of ham or pepperoni in its place.

Dining Atmosphere: The Minneapolis location has a nice casual dining atmosphere with a TV for entertainment.

Customer Service: The counter service was prompt and friendly: pizzas are made to order assembly-line style in front of you, and the pizza maker asked me at every stage if the pizza looked good to me, which it did.

Monetary Value: Blaze only makes personal sized pizzas, so this is not the place to feed a large group with large pizzas.  That said, the price for this type of pizza is reasonable, and the counter service saves on the tip.

The Final Judgment:

Similar in style and appearance to Your Pie and Mod Pizza, Blaze Pizza does not quite set me on fire, but it is a competitive entry in the assembly line made-to-order pizza sector.  Score: 84/100.

New York Pizza in Hartwell, GA

Basic Information:

Pizza: New York Pizza

Number of Locations: 1

Location Reviewed: 105 W. Franklin Street in Hartwell, GA

Website: https://www.newyorkpizzahartwell.com/

Date of Review Visit: June 2018

What I Ordered: large (16”) pizza with sausage; Dr. Pepper to drink

Price: $16.88 (includes drink and tax but not tip)

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Summary Review: 4 stars (out of 5)

Detailed Review:

Crust: The Hartwell, GA version of New York Pizza (aside: every town seems to have a pizza place called New York Pizza) has a nice fluffy crust with a fresh bready taste.  The crust is thicker than you would expect for a New York style pizza, and overall I like it even if it is not very New York-like.  Score: 9/10.

Sauce: This pizza does not have much sauce, but what sauce there is has a nice tomatoey taste and a thick consistency.  On the down side, I found pieces of tomato peel in my sauce, and I don’t like finding pieces of anything in my sauce.  Score: 8/10.

Cheese: The cheese appears in good quantity, and it doesn’t produce much grease.  I have eaten pizza cheese that has more flavor, though.  Score: 8/10.

Toppings: The sausage is applied in very low quantity, and it appears in tiny bits.  What sausage does appear has decent flavor with only a little bit of spice.  Still, this area really needs to be better.  Score: 6/10.

Overall Taste: The overall taste is fairly bland, held back mainly by the scant amount of sausage.  Score: 7.5/10.

Pizza Appearance: The pizza has a fairly bland appearance, which is mainly a result of the lack of toppings.

Dining Atmosphere: The dining area has a nice atmosphere with some TV’s for entertainment.

Customer Service: The service was fine.

Monetary Value: Before you balk at the price, keep in mind that I ordered a 16” pizza, and it fed two people, not one like most of my pizza endeavors.  That considered, average price plus above average quality equals above average value.

The Final Judgment:

New York Pizza, Hartwell, GA version is a solid if unremarkable pizza place.  I would come here again.  Score: 80/100.

Paisano's Pizza in Washington, DC

Basic Information:

Pizza: Paisano’s Pizza

Number of Locations: around 40, mostly near Washington D.C.

Location Reviewed: 1500 Central Park Blvd. in Fredericksburg, VA (across the parking lot from the Central Park Walmart)

Website: https://www.paisanospizza.com/

Date of Review Visit: May 2018

What I Ordered: medium (12”) pizza with sausage and pepperoni; fountain drink

Price: $16.78 (includes drink and tax)

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Summary Review: 5 stars (out of 5)

Detailed Review:

Crust: The crust has a fresh bready taste, but the texture is what really makes this crust special.  The light and fluffy texture makes this crust seem thinner than it is, and it is plenty thick enough to support all of the toppings.  This is one of the best crusts I have eaten recently.  Score: 10/10.

Sauce: The sauce has a nice thick texture and a nice tomatoey taste.  It appears in good quantity.  Score: 10/10.

Cheese: The cheese appears in very good quantity, and sprinkling on some of the free parmesan really adds to the flavor.  The decent amount of grease leads to a mandatory deduction.  Score: 8/10.

Toppings: The pepperoni is pretty tasty, but the sausage steals the show: it comes in nice chunks with just the right amount of seasoning.  Both toppings appear in excellent quantity.  Score: 9/10.

Overall Taste: The overall taste would be a rare perfect 10/10 were it not for the high amount of grease I tasted.  Score: 9.5/10.

Pizza Appearance: The pizza looks like the robust pizza that it is.

Dining Atmosphere: Paisano’s Fredericksburg location has a very bright dining area with lots of big windows and nice, white tables.

Customer Service: The service was counter service, and it was excellent.

Monetary Value: This is a high quality 12” pizza, but wow do you ever pay for it: I have gotten 16” pizzas for less than the price I paid here.  You could blame the D.C. area’s confiscatory meals tax, but that would be like blaming a stale crouton for a bad salad.  On the bright side, the counter service saves on the tip.

The Final Judgment:

Paisano’s Pizza makes America’s capital proud.  If I lived in the D.C. area, I might not come here every week due to the price, but I would certainly come here.  Score: 90/100.